Forced Finale
by Koyasu
Summary: Ken and Ran survived a brutal attack. But at what cost?
1. Default Chapter

Is it normal for fanfic writers to go through a sort of slump? Well, for awhile now, I have. It was brought on by lack of feedback and reviews. I know it shouldn't bother me. If it didn't, maybe I'd get more reviews. That attitude seems to work for my friend. But I can't help but wonder if maybe it means that people just don't like my fics. Or maybe it's because I myself am not very good about reviewing. But that's only because I am a total KenxRan devotee, and I haven't had much luck finding fics with that pairing. (In that order. I won't read it reversed.) So, if you write KenxRan fics, or if you know somebody that does, e-mail me privately and let me know.   
  
I've whined enough for now. Enjoy the story. And, I'm begging you, REVIEW!  
  
~Koyasu  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Aya looked down at her husband's sleeping figure, sighing contentedly before leaning in to kiss him awake. "Ohayo", she whispered, gently pecking him on the forehead.   
  
Yamada Taro stirred, moaning slightly as he reluctantly open his eyes. "Morning already?" he frowned, reaching up to pull Aya into bed with him. "Maybe I should call in sick today. I'd much rather stay here with you and-"  
  
"You can't!" Aya giggled as her husband playfully tugged at her nipple.  
  
"I can do as I please", he smirked. "I am the bank president, after all."  
  
"Yes, but what kind of example are you setting if you call in every time you're horny?"  
  
"Like they're gonna know!" he laughed, tickling Aya.  
  
"They'll catch on if you make a habit of it", she managed to say between squeals.  
  
"Oh, fine!" Taro surrendered, pretending to pout. "I'll go in to work today."  
  
"I love a man who can stick to his commitments", Aya purred, standing up. "I promise I'll reward you for all your hard work tonight" she added with a wink.  
  
"I'll make sure you keep that promise", Taro winked as he stood up and gave Aya a light peck on the cheek.  
  
~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Where is Ran?" Yoji asked, taking a swig from his can of coffee.  
  
"In the mission room", Omi answered, swatting Yoji's feet off the table with a frown.  
  
"Still?" Yoji scratched his head. "I don't get it. The guy practically became catatonic when we learned about the mission. All he said was 'we accept.' And it's been three hours, for crying out loud!"  
  
"Yoji-kun, you need to pay more attention", Omi said, shaking his head. "Weren't you listening when I gave you the mission? A bank merger went sour and the president of one of the banks was murdered. It appeared to be no more than a heart attack, but this is the third in a string of deaths involving First Savings Bank. When an autopsy was performed, heavy doses of steroids were found pumped into his system. Enough to cause heart failure."  
  
Yoji's head shot up, his eyes widening is recognition. "Omi, is that...?"  
  
Omi nodded solemnly. "The murdered president of Citizen's Trust Bank was Aya-chan's husband, Yamada Taro."  
  
*  
  
"Ran? Koi, are you sure that you want to take this mission? After all, wasn't it you that was saying it's time we retire from Kritiker? We've been a team for eleven years, and you joined Kritiker even before that. What happened to all that talk about moving on and-"  
  
"That was before someone decided to fuck with my family again", Ran said darkly. His eyes remained fixed on the wall in front of him.  
  
Ken gasped slightly, not used to hearing such words from his lover. "I know, Ran. I was just thinking maybe this mission is a little too personal."  
  
"After I kill the bastards that murdered my brother-in law...then I can rest." Ran closed his eyes, cletching his fists tight and pounding them into the couch where he sat.  
  
"Yes, but-"  
  
"Oi, Ran, phone call", Yoji called sleepily from the top of the stairs. "It's Aya-chan."  
  
Ran stood up and dashed for the phone, picking it up quickly. "Konbon-"  
  
"Ran!" Aya interrupted him. "You've heard about-"  
  
"I have", Ran answered, still breathless from running for the phone. "Is there anything that I can do for you?"  
  
"Yes, there is. I spoke with Yoji, and he told me your next mission involves Taro's murder."  
  
"It is the least I can do for you." Ran nervously wound a strand of hair around his index finger, knowing full well what his sister was about to say.  
  
"I can't let you do this, Ran", Aya said firmly. "It's too dangerous."  
  
"Are you forgetting? I do this for a living", Ran laughed dismissively. He wanted his sister to feel safe. He wanted her to feel comfortable with the decision he had made.  
  
"I know, but...I just have a bad feeling about this. Call it women's intuition. Call it...call it whatever you like. But I know things will end badly if you take this mission. I'm begging you, nii-chan! Don't do it!" The urgency in Aya's voice was painfully apparent, and it took everything Ran had not to break down as he spoke to her.  
  
"Taro is dead, and your savings are drastically diminished. I can't let this go unpunished. But I promise you, this is our last mission. After this, Weiss is finished." Ran hoped that Aya didn't hear the quiver in his voice as he spoke these words.  
  
"But-"  
  
Ran put the phone back in the receiver before Aya had a chance to argue. Covering his face with his hands, he just stood for a moment, muffled sobs the only sign of life coming from him.  
  
Ken walked over to Ran, tearing his hands away from his face. He looked deep into the sad violet eyes, smiling sympathetically as he wiped them dry. 'Aya and I must be the only two people on earth that truly understand Ran's heart', he thought, pulling the redhead into his arms. 'He's not cold. He's not heartless. When it comes to those he loves...he is the weakest person I know.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I was not meant to wear a suit", Ken grumbled, tugging at his coller. "I'm gonna suffocate in this thing."  
  
"Better you than me", Yoji smirked. He was glad that he and Omi were handling backup outside while Ran and Ken posed as wealthy investors interested in a share of the bank. "But I have to admit, Ran looks like he's cross dressing."  
  
Ran glared at the playboy. He really wasn't in the mood for Yoji's comments on his feminine appearance tonight. "Just be quiet and wait until you hear our signal."  
  
Yoji nodded. "Good luck."  
  
*  
  
"Balinese?" Omi called into his headset from the front entrance to the headquarters of First Savings Bank. "I think we made a mistake."  
  
"What's that, kid?" Yoji asked. He could almost feel Omi glare at him.  
  
"I'm 28 years old now, and, for all intents and purposes, I'm your boss, too. So stop calling me 'kid'."  
  
"Fine", Yoji chuckled. "What's on your mind?"  
  
"I shouldn't have let Abyssinian go up there. This mission is something he's too passionate about. How can we expect him to maintain a cool front if..."   
  
Both men went silent as a cry pierced the night sky. It was Ran's voice. Another cry soon followed. Ken. The wails got louder, accompanied by loud crashes, thuds and gunshots.  
  
"Shall we go up?" Yoji asked, all too eager to kill now.  
  
Omi was about to say yes, when he heard distant laughter. "The targets are approaching the front entrance." He watched as they exited the building." They appear to be unarmed."   
  
A plump, silver haired man stopped just outside the entrance. With him were two large men who looked to be in their mid to late 20s.   
  
"It's amazing what you can do with a hammer, a gun, and a desk." It was the older man that spoke. Watanabe Genjo, the president of First Savings Bank. "I don't think we'll be getting any more trouble from those two."  
  
"They are dead, right?" a tall man with a ponytail asked.  
  
"Even if they manage to survive, they'll be spending their lives as vegetables." Watanabe Genjo laughed wickedly, the two men joining in for a jeering chorus that cut Omi and Yoji to the core.  
  
Yoji had had enough. Without waiting for orders from Omi, he pressed the button on his wrist, tying the three men into a bundle with his wire. Tight enough to hold them without killing them. He'd handle that part later.  
  
"Gomen, Bombay", Yoji apologized as the two assassins met in front of their captured targets.  
  
"No you aren't", Omi said flatly, kicking the ponytailed man in the side. "But I can't say I blame you." He looked up into the building. "I'm going in to check up on Abyssnian and Siberian.. You call Kritiker for medical assistance."  
  
Wananabe Genjo gave a low, menacing laugh. "Good luck saving your friends", he sneered.  
  
"Tell us what you did to them!" Yoji demanded. He was all too willing to tighten the wire, killing the three men then and there.   
  
"Let's see...A gunshot to the chest, and a hammer to the head and hip for the brunette", Mr. Watanabe boasted. He was obviously quite satisfied with his work. "As for the redhead...hammer to the head, gunshot to the gut, and Sojiro here..." he nodded to a bald, burly man at his right. "Made lumber of my desk...right on his back." The three men laughed at the recollection, seeming to forget the position that they were in. "What a poor quality of life they would lead, were they to live", he finished with a mocking laugh.  
  
"Up yours, old man", Yoji hissed, running to catch up with Omi. He looked back momentarily to see Watanabe Genjo and his thugs struggling to break free. 'Well, that saves me some work', he thought, taking small comfort in the thought of the three men slicing themselves to bits. But dead targets meant nothing to him if anything happened to his friends. Dialing his cell phone, he walked into the bank headquarters; away from the screams of his dying targets, and in to see two men who, dead or alive, would never be the same. 


	2. Too soon for goodbyes?

Wow! 11 reviews for one chapter! For some people that's nothing, but for me, it's a very big deal. So thank you to everyone who reviewed. You made me very happy. ^_^ I hope that you enjoy chapter two. Please review. I love feedback.  
  
~Koyasu  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
RING!  
  
Aya pulled the blankets close around her quivering body. She had barely gotten a wink of sleep since her husband's murder, and the ringing telephone did nothing to help her nerves. Working up the courage to open her eyes, she glanced over at the alarm clock. '2:00am. Nobody calls at this hour. This is bad. This is bad. This is-'  
  
"Hello." Taro's voice greeted on the answering machine message. "You have reached the Yamada residence. We are unable to take your call at this time. Please leave a message, and we'll get back to you."  
  
BEEP!  
  
"Aya-chan! Aya-chan, are you awake? This is Omi."  
  
Feeling around, Aya found the bedside lamp, clicked it on and picked up the phone.  
  
"What is it?" Aya asked groggily, her tired voice trembling with fear. There was only one reason for Omi to be calling at this hour.  
  
"Something has happened to Ran-kun and Ken-kun. Yoji-kun is on his way to pick you up, so get some clothes on."  
  
"Wh-what happened? Are they-?"  
  
"No", Omi reassured her. "At his time, they are both still alive but...Just get dressed. You'll actually want to pack for a couple of days."  
  
"What-?"  
  
"I don't feel comfortable telling you something like this over the phone. Please just wait for Yoji-kun." With that, Omi hung up, leaving Aya with more questions and fears than she already had.  
  
*  
  
"How are they?" was the first thing Aya said as she opened the door for Yoji.  
  
"Nice to see you, too", Yoji said with a sad smile as Aya thrust her suitcase into his arms.  
  
"G-gomen, Yoji, I just-"  
  
"I understand", Yoji said calmly as he led Aya to his jeep. He threw Aya's suitcase in back, then looked at her, surprised to see she was carrying a second suitcase.  
  
"Aya, why-?"  
  
"I just get the feeling I won't want to leave my brother's side for a long time", she explained. "Please, don't keep me in suspense any longer. How bad is it?" Aya could feel her heart catch in her throat as she took a seat beside Yoji. She knew she wasn't going to like what he had to tell her.  
  
Sighing, Yoji checked behind him before pulling out of Aya's driveway. Once they were on the road, he tried to find his voice. "This isn't easy for me", he confessed. "I really don't know how to tell-"  
  
"Just tell me!", Aya pleaded tearfully.  
  
Clentching his hands tight around the steering wheel, Yoji took a deep breath to calm himself before speaking."Okay, then." There was a nervous pause. "Ken took a pretty nasty blow to the head, and his hip was badly hurt. The doctors think he'll be out of the coma in a few days, but he requires surgery for his hip. They aren't sure how long it will be until he's on his feet again, but they feel positive that it will be soon. He took a bullet to the chest, but it didn't hit anything vital, so that was a big relief to us all."  
  
"What about my brother?" Aya asked impatiently.  
  
"To tell you the truth, I don't know what's going to happen to Ran. He was still in surgery when I left to pick you up."  
  
Aya's eyes widened. "Surgery?! What happened?!"  
  
Yoji gulped. He really didn't want to be the one to break the news to her. "Ran got hit in the head, too. But it was much worse than what happened to Ken. His skull cracked, and a piece of it punctured his brain. The doctors are going to try and stop the bleeding, and are debating whether or not it's in Ran's best interest to remove the bone shard from his brain tissue. I'm going to be honest with you, Aya. The question everyone is asking now is 'will Ran live or die?'"  
  
Aya felt dizzy. Like the ground was crumbling beneath her. First Taro and now Ran. 'No. No! I can't lose him, too!' Leaning back into her seat, Aya reached over, putting a hand on Yoji's arm. "Is there anything else I need to know?"  
  
"I'm sorry to say there is", Yoji nodded, trying to focus on the road ahead. "Ran needs back surgery, too. But the brain sugery took precedence. Until the doctors feel certain he's recovering well from it, they're keeping him immobile. Not an easy task, considering they also had to cut into him to remove a bullet from his bladder."  
  
"Oh God!" Aya cried. "He's going to die. My brother is going to die." she began rocking back and forth, hugging herself.  
  
"We don't know that", Yoji said calmly, trying as much to convince himself as Aya. "Now try and pull yourself together, okay? We're here."  
  
Aya blinked as Kritiker's medical facility came into focus, wiping her eyes dry. Stepping out of the car, she walked over to Yoji, embracing him with all her strength. "Thank you, Yoji", she wept into his shoulder. "Thank you for being such a good friend to my brother and Ken. Thank you for looking out for them."  
  
"It's my pleasure", Yoji whispered, lightly kissing Aya's head. "Are you ready to go in now?"  
  
"I'm ready", Aya nodded, sniffing.  
  
*  
  
When Aya walked into the hospital room, a sleeping Ken was the first person she saw. He looked calm and peaceful, as if nothing whatsoever had happened. A bandage on his forehead head was the only indication of injury. Then, her eyes drifted to the bed closest to the window. She felt her legs go weak, and Omi had to catch her from behind to keep her from falling.   
  
"Do you want to come back later, Aya-chan?"  
  
"Iie." Aya straightened herself up and walked over to where her brother was sleeping. The top of Ran's head was tightly bandaged, tubes came out of his nose and he wore a brace around his neck. Aya noticed the IV dripping into his arm and the steady beeping of the heart monitor. She was used to seeing her brother injured. In the time since she had woken up from her coma, Ran had been hurt on several missions, and raped on a few occassions as well. But she had never seen him in this state. So close to death. Even as Ran slept, Aya couldn't help but wonder what he would be like if and when he awoke.  
  
As if reading her mind, Omi finally spoke up. "It's very touch and go now, Aya-chan. If Ran lives, that in and of itself will be a miracle. If he wakes up, we don't know what the effects of his head injury will be. He could be brain dead." Omi's lip quivered as he spoke these words. He had grown up, but the sensitive, tearful young man was still very much a part of who he was. "So now, you have a decision to make. Should we keep Ran alive, or let him go?"  
  
"Do I have to decide this now?", Aya asked, taking her brother's limp hand into her own. "Can I please just have a little more time?" She brought Ran's hand up to her lips, kissing it and showering tears upon it.   
  
"Aya? Omi?", Yoji called softly from where he sat at Ken's bedside. "I hate to be the one to break up your misery, but I think that Ken is waking up."  
  
Aya gently set Ran's hand back down at his side, and she and Omi hurried over to Ken. He was stirring, as if in a dream. Soft murmurs came from his mouth, steadily becoming louder and more coherent.  
  
"Ran...Ran..."  
  
To Yoji, Omi and Aya, Ken's voice was like music; the sound of Ran's name a welcome relief. Perhaps Ken would be alright after all.   
  
Slowly, dark eyes fluttered open. 


	3. The mind of a child

"Wh-who...?" Ken stammered. His senses appeared to be overwhelmed by the bright flourescent lights and the people standing over him. "Aya...Omi...Yoji..." He looked around. "Where is - Ran!" Ken shot up in the bed as his eyes fell on the sleeping redhead. He then let out a sharp cry, his body in shock from the sudden movement.   
  
"Just take it easy, Ken", Aya whispered, gently resting his body back onto the bed.  
  
"But - but how did Ran-?"  
  
"You and Ran-kun were injured on a mission", Omi explained.   
  
Ken looked confused. "mission?"  
  
"Yeah, you know. Those things Kritiker sends us on." Yoji put a straw up to Ken's mouth, offering the brunette a drink of water. Ken accepted, taking the cup from Yoji's hand.  
  
"Kritiker? Mission?"  
  
"Luckily, we were still able to kill -" Yoji began before catching Ken's terrified expression. "You really don't remember at all, do you?" He wished he had kept his mouth shut. Ken was looking up at him like a scared child. It was unnerving, seeing his fierce teammate in this state.  
  
"We killed people?" Ken sounded like he was about to cry. "You're joking with me, right, Yoji? We don't kill. We sell flowers. I don't want to hurt anyone. I mean, I hurt Ran during sex, but-" Ken blushed. "Gomen. I was thinking out loud. But do we...do we really kill people?"  
  
"No, we don't", Omi lied, thinking fast. "It's a game we play where we pretend to be superheroes and kill villains." He figured the truth was best left unknown for the time being.  
  
"So, how did Ran and I -"  
  
"Car accident on the way back from playing our superhero game last night", Omi answered, proud that he could think so well on his feet like this.  
  
"Will Ran be okay? He looks like he's going to die", Ken observed, looking with horror at his lover.   
  
"He'll be just fine", Aya said bravely, though she didn't believe it. "But when he wakes up, he may be different. He may think and act in a way that is strange to you. But he is still Ran, and you will love eachother no matter what, right?" She made her decision then and there. Ran was going to live. 'Maybe I'm selfish', she thought. 'But I'd rather have a brother who is a vegetable then no brother at all.'   
  
*  
  
Aya shuffled tiredly into the hospital room, looking for Ken, but seeing he was not around. She was holding a container of take-out ramen she had picked up for him on the way over. Aya had planned on making him tonkatsu for lunch, but she just didn't have the energy to cook. She hadn't been sleeping well lately. Even getting the take-out had been taxing on her body. She nearly threw up from the very smell of it.   
  
'Probably at physical therapy', Aya thought, setting the noodles on the table at Ken's bedside. It had been two weeks since the accident, and everyone was amazed at the brunette's progress. He was already up and walking with the aid of crutches, and the doctors suspected he would be walking on his own within a couple of monthes. Ran, on the other hand...Aya walked over to her brother, hoping against hope for a murmur, a twitching hand, blinking eyes...anything! 'The tables have turned, haven't they?' Aya thought with a sad laugh. Once upon a time, you were watching me sleep, and praying that I would awake. She began crying, something she had been doing a lot in the past month. But her tears were interrupted when Omi and a nurse came in with Ken.  
  
"What were you thinking, wandering out there like that? You know you aren't allowed up and out of the room without hospital staff accomanying you", Omi scolded the older man. "Where was your head?"  
  
"I was...I got up because...I forget", Ken confessed as the nurse and Omi helped him back to bed. But I had a good reason, I'm sure."  
  
Omi sighed, falling into a chair. "What are we going to do with you, Ken-kun?" He sat for a moment, lost in worry.The truth was, Ken's mind was wandering more than it should. He was becoming forgettful, and it was clear he would be incapable of taking care of himself once he was discharged from the hospital. 'He's more like a child than the friend that I knew.'   
  
"Aya!", Ken piped up excitedly.  
  
Omi jumped up, walking over the the woman and hugging her. "You were so quiet, I didn't even notice you were here. Hanging in there okay, Aya-chan?" he asked, looking with concern at her tired face.  
  
"I'm doing my best", Aya managed to force out. "I brought Ken some lunch", she added quickly, pointing to the food on the table.  
  
"Arigato!" Ken opened the package, slurping it down as if it were water.  
  
"He's obviously happy to be eating something other than hospital food", Aya giggled.  
  
"Hai", Omi sighed, wetting a paper towel and wiping excess noodles (and most of the broth) off of Ken's face, neck and hospital gown. "I'll get a nurse to get you some clean things. Be right back." He walked out, taking Ken's crutches with him.  
  
"Where are you going with those? I need them. Give them back!" Ken pleaded. "You're trying to keep me here, aren't you? You don't want me to get better."  
  
"Now that's just paranoid thinking." Omi rolled his eyes. "I'm taking these for your own good. We can't have you wandering off and-"   
  
Both men turned suddenly, looking at Ran. Aya sat smiling with immeasurable relief at his bedside. Ran had let out a soft moan, and was slowly opening his eyes. He looked up at his sister, smiling weakly.  
  
"Ran!" Ken looked pathetically at Omi. The younger man smiled, and, giving in, gave him his crutches. Ken hobbled over, and the three stood over Ran, looking at him with love and eagerness.  
  
Ran looked up for several moments, taking in his surroundings and trying to figure out what exactly had happened. He opened his mouth, his eyes indicating that he had many questions. But all that came out was "ah." He tried again, determined to say all that he wanted to. "Ah. Ah!" Ran screwed up his face, frustrated at being unable to express himself.  
  
Aya and Omi looked at Ran with sadness and sympathy, while Ken looked puzzled.   
  
"Ran is a baby now", Ken observed, simply and sadly.   
  
Aya looked down at her brother, silently agreeing with Ken. She looked at Ken, so changed these past few weeks. She put her hand to her stomach, trying to hold back her tears long enough to get out of the room. Then, when she was finally alone, she lost it.  
  
Omi walked out to join Aya in the hallway, lifting her face up into his hands and looking deep into her sorrowful eyes. "What is it, Aya-chan? Is it because your brother can't talk?"  
  
Aya nodded. "That, and a combination of other things", Aya told him between sobs. "Taro's death, everything with Ken, and now my brother...Ken said Ran was a baby, and...and..."  
  
"You're worried that he will always be this way?"  
  
"That's only part of it", Aya answered, still somewhat hysterical. I found out this morning...this is supposed to be a happy occassion, but..."  
  
"But what?" Omi asked, placing a comforting hand on Aya's shoulder.  
  
"I'm...I'm pregnant."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Did you see that coming? Okay, maybe you did. I guess I've had babies on the brain a lot lately. Makes sense, since I myself am pregnant, and expecting my first child in March. I actually based Aya's symptoms on what I felt during my first trimester. Unlike Aya's unfortunate spouse,though, my husband is very much alive (and way sexy). But I won't bore you with the details of my life. I will, however, thank you once again for all the reviews I've received for this story so far. I've never felt so motivated to continue a fic before. So thank you.   
  
~Koyasu 


	4. How I long to reach you

I'm so happy at the positive responses I'm getting to this fic. Again, THANK YOU for the feedback and support. Please continue to share your opinions with me.  
  
FYI, I made a KenxRan group. It's meant to be a support network for those of us who just can't get enough of this pairing. I know how hard it is to find KenxRan fics, so this is where we can connect. ^_^ If your write KenxRan, please join. You can also tell us if you've posted any KenxRan here. I for one, will be glad to add any and all KenxRan writers to my favorites list, and will make a point of reviewing their fics. Anyone interested? Here's the link:   
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kenxran/  
  
~Koyasu  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Oh, Aya-chan!" Omi took the sobbing women's hands. "I'm sorry you couldn't learn about your pregnancy under happier circumstances. But I've seen how gentle and nurturing you've been with Ran-kun and Ken-kun these last few weeks. I know that you'll be a wonderful mother. Yoji-kun and I will give you as much help as you need, and you know what?"  
  
Aya didn't look up. "What?"  
  
"Ran-kun will be thrilled to learn he's going to be an uncle! You should go back into that room and tell him the good news."  
  
Aya nodded, letting go of Omi's hands and wiping her eyes dry. "Shall we?"  
  
Just as they were about to enter the room, Yoji walked up. "What are the two of you doing out- Aya?" He noticed the woman's red face. "Is something wrong?"  
  
"Yes and no", Aya sighed. "Here's some good news: my brother is awake. Now we're going in to tell him some more news."  
  
"Ran's awake? Fantastic! Um...is your other news good news?"  
  
"Depends on how you look at it", Aya shrugged. "Care to go in while I tell him?"  
  
"You two go ahead", Omi told them, starting down the hall. I have to find the a doctor and tell them Ran-kun is awake. Then, I need to get a nurse to clean up Ken-kun and and change his gown and sheets."  
  
Yoji nodded, walking into the room with Aya. Ken was sitting on Ran's bed, leaning in to kiss him.  
  
"Ken!" Yoji ran over, carefully pulling Ken off of Ran and tranferring him to his own bed. "Be careful! You don't want any of Ran's tubes to come unplugged."  
  
"I just wanted a kiss!" Ken whined. "I missed him!"  
  
"We know", Yoji said, tucking Ken in. "But you should wait until Ran is a little better before you get him too excited, okay?"  
  
"Hmph!" Ken pouted.  
  
Aya took a seat next to Ran on the bed, making sure not to sit on any tubes. She examined his face. 'He looks distracted. Unhappy.' She ran a finger down his cheek. 'Poor thing. You just woke up, and already, you have so much on your mind.' "Nii-chan?"  
  
"Ah." Ran winced at the sound of his own voice.  
  
"I have something to tell you that I think will make you very happy." She took his hand, looking lovingly into her brother's sad, violet eyes. "You're going to be an uncle, Ran. I'm pregnant."  
  
Ran's face brightened, and Aya could swear she felt him squeeze her hand. "Gah aah!" he exclaimed happily.  
  
"I hear somebody is finally awake", a tall, thin, silver haired man smiled, walking up to stand beside Aya. "Hello, Ran. I'm Doctor Kubota. Glad to see you've finally come around."  
  
"Ah", Ran strained, still trying for words. "Ahh...Uhh..."  
  
Doctor Kubota looked Ran over carefully, then checked the heart monitor. "Your vital signs are stabilizing, Ran. You need to make a decision now." He looked at Aya. "Do you think he's ready to decide about-?"  
  
"I think so." Aya leaned over her brother. "Ran, you need surgery on your back. It was badly injured. If they operate, you might increase your chances of being able to walk again. Would you feel up to it in maybe...?" she turned to the doctor.  
  
"We can operate in a few days", he answered. "So, what's your answer, Ran? Blink once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'."  
  
Ran blinked once.  
  
"Wonderful!" the doctor clapped his hands together. "We'll operate on Friday. You just wait and see, Ran. You'll be up and walking before you know it. Just like your friend Ken here."  
  
"We're more than just friends", Ken proudly cut in, while a nurse wiped him down. "Ran is my butt monkey!"  
  
Yoji couldn't help himself. He erupted into a fit of laughter at that statement. Soon, everyone in the room was laughing. Everyone, that is, except Ran, who's pale face was turning deep red.  
  
"I don't see what's so funny", Ken sulked. "It's true."  
  
Aya wiped a happy tear from her eye. 'It feels good to smile', she thought. 'I'd forgotten just how good it felt, until now.'  
  
*  
  
Ken was agitated, and it seemed there was no consoling him.   
  
"He's gone!" the brunette wailed. "Ran is gone! What did they do to him?"  
  
"Relax. He's in surgery", Yoji reassured his friend, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "He'll be back in a couple hours."  
  
"Oh", Ken sniffed. "But where is Aya? And Omi?" He looked around, like a scared child left behind at the mall.  
  
"What? My companionship isn't good enough?" Yoji asked, sounding hurt.  
  
"No, Yoji! I didn't mean-" Ken held up a hand in protest.  
  
"I'm just teasing", Yoji smirked. "Omi and Aya are meeting with one of Ran's doctors."  
  
"Is something wrong with Ran?" Ken's eyes widened. "Will something bad happen to him?"  
  
"Well...something bad has already happened to him, actually. To both of you. That's why you're here", Yoji said, fidgeting. "Now, we just need to know if he'll recover."  
  
"Like I am, right?" Ken grinned. "I'm recovering good."  
  
A pained smile crossed Yoji's lips. "Yes. Yes you are."  
  
Just then, Aya and Omi walked in, looking discouraged.  
  
"Hello, Ken-kun", Omi smiled, sitting down. "Aya-chan needs to talk to Yoji-kun for a minute."  
  
Ken looked worried. "Is it about Ran? He's okay, right?"  
  
"He'll be alright, but..." Omi looked towards the door, wondering how Aya was holding up. Looking back at Ken, he tried to find the best way to tell his damaged friend what had happened to Ran. "Do you remember when Ran woke up? You said he was a baby."  
  
"I did?" Ken stared blankly at Omi. "I don't remember that. Is he, though? Is Ran a baby now? He can't talk or walk, and neither can a baby."  
  
"That's true", Omi choked out, wiping his eyes. "Because Ran was so badly hurt, his brain isn't telling his body to do some things that it should."  
  
Ken sat up. "Like talking?"  
  
"Yes. Talking is one thing. And because of the injury to his bladder, he can't use the bathroom himself, just like a baby. As for walking...well, we don't know just yet. We WON'T know until after he's had a little physical therapy", Omi explained, trying to put things simply for Ken. "So, for now at least, Ran will need extra care and attention, like a baby. But Ran is still a grown-up. The outside has changed, but he is the same Ran on the inside."  
  
Ken's eyes lit up with hope. "Honto ni?"  
  
Omi nodded, laughly softly. "Honto ni."  
  
*  
  
"That's too bad", Yoji frowned, running a hand through his hair nervously. "So, Ran will never be able to speak again?"  
  
"That's how is looks", Aya murmured, looking at her feet. "His brain won't send the right signals, from what I can understand."  
  
"What about his thinking?", Yoji asked. He hesitated. "I mean...look at how Ken is. Will Ran be-?"  
  
"It's hard to tell", Aya replied, her voice filled with frustration. "Since he can't communicate with us, we don't know what's going on in his head. So, I guess we'll never know."  
  
Yoji just stood there with a pensive expression on his face for several moments. It looked like he was trying to make up his mind about something.  
  
"What is it? Tell me!" Aya didn't like this silence.  
  
"I know someone that I think will be able to help Ran. That is, if he doesn't shut this person out. If his memory is alright, he might put up some walls."  
  
Aya held a hand to her forehead. She had a lot of information to deal with today, and Yoji's little riddle wasn't helping. "I don't understand. What...WHO are you talking about?"  
  
"A friend of mine", Yoji replied, the grin he wore telling Aya that "friend" meant "bedmate". "His name is Schuldig." 


	5. the voice of the silent

Well, don't I feel stupid! I was writing out a story on notepad at the end of the last chapter, and I forgot to put it somewhere else before posting. It took forever for my correction to show up. So, those of you who wrote the first reviews for chapter four, please disregard that last part. It's actually from a story that I posted in my KenxRan group. Once again, I'd like to invite any and all KenxRan writers to join. You will have a new fan in me, and I promise to review any future KenxRan fics you post here, in the group, or anywhere else. ^_^ here's the link again: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kenxran/  
  
Having said that, I want to once again thank everyone who reviewed. Now, let me ask you: how many of you are wondering if Ken or Ran got more screwed up from the attack? I'll leave that for you to decide. Keep reading, and form your own conclusions.   
  
One last thing: In this chapter, Schuldig will be "talking" to Ran telepathically. Here is the code:  
  
'thoughts'  
((Schu's mental talk))  
  
Happy reading! ^_^  
  
~Koyasu  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I don't think this is such a good idea", Schuldig said hesitantly, as he and Yoji pulled up to the hospital in Yoji's Jeep. "I mean, do your friends even know that we're together?"  
  
"No." Yoji stared off into the distance. "I haven't had a chance to tell them yet."  
  
Schuldig took a deep breath and unfastened his seatbelt. "That's because you know that they won't be as forgiving as you. Especially Ran. I don't have to tell you how good at holding grudges he is."  
  
"Be that as it may", Yoji started, slamming the car door behind him "you're our only hope now. Do you what what hell this has been for all of us? We have no way of knowing what Ran thinks or feels. We don't even know if he's fully aware of who he is and what's happened to him!" He paused, catching his breath as the German steadied his shaking shoulders with reassuring hands. "I know this won't be an easy task for you, but it would mean everything to us - especially to Aya - if you would at least try .  
  
"Okay. I'll give it my best shot", Schuldig promised with an affirmative nod. He had never seen his lover get so worked up about anything before. If it really meant that much to Yoji, who was he to say no?  
  
*  
  
"Konbonwa, Ran", Yoji said casually, taking a seat at the redhead's bedside."Have you eaten dinner yet? Raise your right pinky if the answer is yes.  
  
Ran's eyes darted from hand to hand before finally looking up, confused, at Yoji.  
  
'Oh, God!' Yoji thought. 'He can't tell his left from his right?'  
  
((That appears to be the case)), Schu cut intoYoji's thoughts from where he stood in the hallway. ((I detected feelings of confusion and dizziness at the thought of direction.))  
  
'Wonderful!' Yoji rubbed his temple in frustration. "Okay, Ran. I brought you some gyoza. I'm going to feed it to you now. If you've already been fed, just don't open your mouth."  
  
Yoji brought a dumpling up to Ran's lips, and he opened wide, gratefully accepting the food.  
  
"Now, Ran, we've all been very worried about you", Yoji said softly, feeding his friend another dumpling. "You've been through a lot, and this must be a difficult time for you. I 'm sure there are a lot of feelings you'd like to get out that you aren't able to because you can't talk. So I've brought a friend of mine here to see you. I know you have some history behind you. I just hope that you can learn to forgive and forget. People change, Ran, and Schuldig only wants to help."  
  
Ran's eyes narrowed, his face reddening in anger. "YAHH!" he protested loudly, wishing he could utter a few choice words.  
  
"I was worried you'd react this way, Ran", Yoji murmured, looking anxiously at the door. "But we want to understand you, and this is this only way we know how. Please, Ran", he pleaded." Please do this for us."  
  
Ran's breathing steadied, and he appeared to be calming down. "Mmm", he gave in.  
  
Schuldig entered the room, almost reeling from the anger and hatred emanating from his former enemy. Yoji stood up, offering Schu his seat. "Thank you", the telepath smiled, sitting down.  
  
"I'll be at the gift shop if you need me", Yoji told his love, looking cautiously at the two men.  
  
"I apprechiate that, but I don't think we'll be having any problems." Schu waved his hand dismissively. He turned to Ran. ((Long time, no see, old friend.))  
  
'Hmph!'  
  
((Your boyfriend is a sound sleeper)) Schuldig observed, glancing at Ken.  
  
'He's been in physical therapy for most of the day. When he wasn't there, he was seeing a psychologist', Ran explained with a glare.  
  
((And how have you been feeling? You must be tired yourself.))  
  
Ran's face twisted into a sad smile. 'I have plenty of time to rest. I won't be starting physical therapy for a couple more weeks. It gets boring, but I welcome the boredom. I was getting tired of the assassin game. The darkness, the guilt, the blood on my hands...' Ran stopped there, his mind suddenly growing quiet.  
  
((What?)) Schuldig was looking directly into Ran's eyes now. ((Are you worried that you're opening up too much? Are you ashamed to be showing me these emotions? Come on, Ran! You made a promise to Yoji.))  
  
Ran sighed. 'Here's the truth. Weiss was going to retire after this last mission. We only accepted this one because it involved my brother-in-law's murder.'  
  
((I know)) Schu nodded.  
  
Ran's eyes began to water. 'But I failed. I let down my sister, and I disgraced Taro's memory.'   
  
((And what about Ken? Is he a failure, too?))  
  
'I acted out of rage at the wrong time. Ken simply tried to save me. It wasn't his fault. It was all my doing.' Violet eyes slid closed, and Ran's face tensed at the recollection. 'And now Ken...now Ken..."  
  
(('Now Ken' what? Don't shut off from me now, Ran! Tell me what it is!)) Schuldig urged, as he lightly squeezed Ran's hand in encouragement.  
  
'Ken isn't the man that I knew. He remembers me. He remembers our love. But there are other parts of his mind that are lost. He thinks and acts just like a small child. A child with an overactive libido, but...' A faint smile crossed Ran's lips at that thought, and what sounded like a laugh escaped his mouth.   
  
((Glad to see you've still got a sense of humor.))   
  
'I'm trying to.' Ran thought back, with a light sigh, his eyes slowly reopening. 'But the truth is, I...well, I feel...'  
  
((You can do this, Ran. Remember the promise you made to Yoji.)) Schu urged. ((And don't forget that your sister has been wanting to reach you, too.)) He figured it couldn't hurt to mention Aya. If that's what it took to get Ran to open up, then so be it.  
  
'I feel guilty for what is in my heart. Even though it is my own doing, even though Ken's mental state is my fault...' Ran's mind shut down again. He was obviously in emotional distress.  
  
((I'm sorry, Ran)) Schu sent the message to Ran's mind, standing up in apology and turning to leave. ((This is obviously too much for you. I'll come back when you're ready.))  
  
But just as he started to step away, Schuldig felt a Ran's fingers lightly brush his arm.  
  
'No. Please. Stay. It's been a long time since I had a conversation.'  
  
((Alright, I'll stay)) Schuldig agreed, smiling. ((I'll stay on the condition that you listen to me. You have to stop blaming yourself for everything. What happened to Aya's husband was a tragedy, and she is a very lucky woman to have a brother like you. One who would sacrifice so much for her to make things right. You did that out of love. What Ken did is no different. His actions were motivated by love. He knew that that last mission would be a difficult one for you. He came to support you.))  
  
'He came for the mission', Ran argued.   
  
((No.)) Schuldig shook his head. ((Yoji and Omi came for the mission. Ken came for you.))  
  
For the first time, Ran allowed his gaze to meet Schuldig's. 'You're not making this easy, you know?'  
  
((What?))  
  
'Ken has been wonderful to me. He's given me strength when I felt I was going to break. He managed to melt a heart that had frozen over in self-defense. Yet I-'  
  
Before Ran could finish the thought, Ken woke up. He just stared at Schuldig for a moment before voicing his recognition of the man.  
  
"I know you!" he pointed excitedly. "You used to play that assassin game with us! Did you want to play again? Because Ran and me can't play right now. We're sick, and the doctor would be mad."  
  
"Hello, Ken. Good to see you again", Schuldig nodded in greeting before turning back to Ran. ((You were saying?))  
  
'I...' Ran paused. 'I think I'm...falling out of love with Ken.' 


	6. A Heart Torn

Thank you again to everyone who has been so kind to review this. I'd really love to return the favor. ^_^ But I saw lots of RanxKen in your profiles, and no KenxRan. And I can't read RanxKen. It just deosn't seem right. hehe Still, I want to show my gratitude to all of you. So, if you write a KenxRan, tell me, and I will be more than happy to review. ^_^  
  
On a related note, someone f***ed with my Yahoo account. So I had to get a new ID and delete all my groups, including the KenxRan one. :-( I made a new one, though, and would be thrilled if you joined. ^_^ http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kenxranfanfics/  
  
Okay. I'll leave you to read now. Have fun! ^_^  
  
~Koyasu  
  
((Falling out of love with Ken?)) Schuldig repeated Ran's thought in shock. ((You sure hid that well. I didn't see it coming at all.))  
  
Ran's mind was quiet, but his expression was tortured and torn.  
  
((Ran?))  
  
'I'm not sure what to feel', Ran finally confessed. 'I know you think I'm a shallow bitch but...' a meloncholy smile crossed Ran's lips as he thought this.   
  
((I don't think that at all)) Schu responded, chuckling. ((But I also don't believe that you've fallen out of love with Ken.)) He looked over at the brunette, who was staring jealous darts at him. "Don't worry", Schuldig addressed Ken with reassurring eyes. "I'm a psychologist. This is part of Ran's therapy."  
  
"Oh, good! Can you get him to talk again?" Ken asked, his eyes growing wide.  
  
"I can do my best", Schuldig answered, sadly noting the mental wreck that Ken had become. "But no promises."  
  
"I like you", Ken grinned, resting his head back onto the pillow. "I like the nice man that's going to help Ran talk to me." With that, Ken's eyes fell closed, and he drifted back to sleep.  
  
((He has changed...)) Schu observed, looking back at Ran's sad face.   
  
'You're full of shit' Ran thought, letting out a dismissive snort. 'Psychologist...And who are you to tell me what I feel? You're a telepath, not an empath'  
  
((Oh, didn't I tell you? I possess both gifts)) the German boasted. Noticing a shiver from Ran, he pulled the blankets up over his shoulders. ((Now, what do you really feel?))  
  
'What do I really feel? I don't know how to answer that', Ran admitted. 'I...I feel like Ken died. He body lives, but the man that was in that body is gone. You may not know this, but Ken was a lot stronger than I ever could hope to be. I needed that strength to keep my heart from breaking. But now, it all...Ken just isn't Ken anymore. He's a child. Nothing can ever be the same.'  
  
((I'm not so sure of that.)) Schu argued. ((I mean, it's obvious that some things haven't changed at all. Ken's love for you, for example, is just as strong as it's ever been.))  
  
'Yes, but-'  
  
Before Ran could finish his thought, a petite male nurse walked into the room, carrying a basin of water and some towels. "It's time for Ran's bath", the nurse informed Schuldig, setting the basin and towels down. "I don't know how comfortable he would be having you here now, so..."   
  
Schuldig stood up, smiling down at Ran. "I'll show myself out", he nodded. Reaching the door, he paused, surprised to discover something in his eyes. It was wet, and it stung. Could it be he was crying?  
  
*  
  
"Go away!"Aya screamed, as Yoji took a seat beside her in the hospital cafeteria, drawing attention from fellow diners. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to see any of you! Ran got involved in that...that organization, and what has it gotten him? Nothing but suffering!" She began stabbing her bowl of ice cream with the spoon, as if it were symbolic of all that angered her.  
  
"I have to disagree with you there", Yoji contradicted, gulping down a piece of chicken. "After all, he did find love. If Ran hadn't been part of Kritiker, he never would have met Ken."  
  
"That's a small comfort", Aya sniffed. "Ken is so simple now. What good is he to my poor brother, who isn't able to walk or talk? And we still don't know where his mind is." Aya pushed her ice cream away, in no mood to eat. "Tell me why, Yoji", she pleaded. "Why didn't Ran get out sooner? Why didn't he get out after I woke up from my coma?"  
  
"I can't speak for Ran", Yoji said softly, poking at his food with his chopsticks. But I can make guesses from my own experience in Kritiker. You see, Aya, there is a lot of guilt involved in killing others, even if they do deserve death. You never really get used to taking lives. No matter how you try and justify it, there is a part of you that feels you are no better than the targets you go after. At one time, all of us have thought of leaving. Omi and I even faked our own deaths. Everyone bought it, too. But even if you run away, you're haunted by the injustice in the world, and the faces of the suffering souls. It happened to me. It happened to Omi. After a long time away, we eventually came back from the dead, as it were. When we left, we only traded one guilt for another. So that, I think, is why Ran stayed with Kritiker", Yoji concluded, taking a breath and reaching for the glass of water on his tray.  
  
Aya sat silent for a long time, tearfully staring at her lap. "But he never would have gotten involved if..."  
  
"Don't you dare blame yourself, Aya!" Yoji stood up, walking behind the woman and embracing her. "It isn't your fault that your parents got killed. It isn't your fault you got hit by a car and put into a coma. And you didn't make any choices for Ran. Please, Aya. Let's just concentrate on getting your brother and Ken healthy. I've had more guilt and self loathing than I can handle for one day. First Omi, and now-"  
  
"Omi?" Aya looked up at Yoji curiously. "What about Omi?"  
  
Yoji looked down, shuffling his feet nervously. "Um, he..."  
  
"There you are!" Schuldig chimed, waving to Yoji and Aya as he entered the cafeteria.  
  
"Schuldig!" Aya's face brightened. "What happened with my brother?"   
  
"Well", Schuldig sighed, taking a seat across from Aya, "I have good news and bad news."  
  
*  
  
Ran closed his eyes as the young nurse scrubbed his body. This nurse was new, young and nervous. He had already dropped the water basin twice. This meant he had to mop up his mess, go back for a new basin and start over. This only prolonged the daily experience that Ran dreaded. His body tensed at the physical contact. He just couldn't get used to anyone but Ken handling him. He remembered the way those strong, tanned arms provided warmth, safety and a sense of security that only Ken knew Ran needed. But how could Ran feel secure held by a man who, intellectually, was now years beneath him? Wouldn't it be like letting a child take advantage of you? That manchild was getting a shower now, and Ran was honestly relieved to have a break from Ken's babbling, a constant reminder of his condition. He thought back to the "conversation" he had had with Schuldig. 'It's true', he decided. 'I am still in love with Ken. But am I in love with Ken for who he is, or who he was? Does-"  
  
"Nii-chan!!!" Aya stormed into the room, snatching the washcloth from the nurse's hand. "I can take over from here."  
  
"B-but", the nurse protested, trembling at the sight of the wild-eyed woman. "Um, never mind", he squeaked, running out of the room.  
  
Ran looked up at his sister and, for the first time in his life, he was frightened of her.   
  
"How could you?!" she growled, rubbing his legs raw with the washcloth. "How could you be so shallow?!"  
  
Ran knew what Aya was talking about. He knew that Schuldig must have told her what he had thought. But he didn't know why she expected him to give her an answer when he couldn't even speak. 'Why?' he thought, wincing as Aya scrubbed him? Why won't Yoji or Schuldig come in and help me? Why doesn't Schuldig ask me some more questions, so that Aya understands?'  
  
*  
  
Out in the hall, Yoji clutched an envelope to his chest, tears streaming down his face.  
  
"It's hard to take, isn't it?"  
  
Yoji looked up, meeting his lover's gaze. "It is", he nodded, accepting Schuldig's hand. "I'm just glad I have you. With Ran and Ken so sick, I can't expect them to handle this. And I can't-"  
  
"You can't face it alone", Schuldig finished, pulling Yoji into his arms. "I know." 


	7. Words That Wound, Words That Heal

I love you guys! *hugs* Thank you so much for the reviews and encouragement. Let's keep the KenxRan love going. hehe  
  
Anyhoo, thanks for your patience. I know it's been awhile since I posted a new chapter. For one thing, I'll be having my baby any time now, and I am exhausted! Physically and mentally. I also learned how Gluhen ends, so I tried to make this tie in with that. I wanted it to all make sense. I like to think of my fics as continuations of the series, and this way, they can be. ^_^  
  
I'm going to sleep now, but I hope to wake up and see lots of reviews. hehe Enjoy!  
  
~Koyasu  
  
P.S. My husband looks like Seki Tomokazu. I'm serious! ^_________^  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You know, you're going to have to tell them eventually", Schuldig told Yoji, lifting the man's chin and looking intently into his sad eyes.  
  
"I know", Yoji laughed nervously through his tears. "Geez! This is pathetic. I never cry like this."  
  
"It's understandable", Schu reassured him, glancing at the envelope in Yoji's hand. "You've-"  
  
Both men turned suddenly, straining to hear a barely audible cry of pain coming from Ran.   
  
"We'd better go in", Schuldig decided.  
  
"Yeah. I guess it wasn't such a good idea leaving Ran alone with a pissed off pregnant woman", Yoji half laughed as he and his lover entered the room.  
  
What they saw could almost be described as comical, if not for the fact that Aya's actions could potentially aggravate Ran's injuries. She was washing his face violently as she softly cursed at him, and seemed oblivious to the fact that he was crying.  
  
"Aya!" Yoji hurried over, pulling her away from Ran. "Go easy on him. He still has stitches in his head, you know."  
  
Ran tried to glare at his sister, but the pain he felt was too intense.   
  
"G-gomen, nii-chan", Aya stammered, a pang of guilt washing over her as she saw her brother's look of hurt and confusion. "I just can't understand how you can stop loving Ken. After all, you've been through so much together. He didn't give up on that love when you were raped, and needed space to work out your feelings on intimacy. He respected you and gave you that space. But his heart waited for you. And how about the time you were kidnapped on a mission? Everyone else had dismissed you as dead. But Ken searched on, rescuing you and bringing your captors to justice. Even now, with his weak mind, Ken loves you. He desires you. And I know it wouldn't be any different if he had his wits about him. He wouldn't stop loving you just because you're needy as a newborn child. So how can your heart abandon Ken now?"  
  
Ran looked from his sister to Yoji to Schuldig, fixing his eyes on the telepath.  
  
"Ran says he would give you an answer, but he doesn't see the point", Schuldig spoke for Ran. "After all, he is useless and needy. So what he feels does not matter."  
  
Aya leaned over Ran, her tears falling on his neck. "Ran, I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"  
  
"Da!" Ran snapped back.  
  
Schuldig turned to look at Aya. "He wants you to leave."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Haaah!!!"  
  
"I think you'd better go now." Schuldig put an arm around Aya, walking her out the door. "Just give him a little time."  
  
"But..but...nii-chan!!!" Aya wailed, looking back as her brother faded from view.  
  
Yoji turned back to Ran, smiling uncomfortably at his friend. 'Why did this happen?' he wondered. 'Why did I have to remember?' He thought back to his days of blissful ignorance. Married, domesticated...no memory whatsoever of his life with Weiss. Then, he saw him. Schuldig. They just passed on the street, but Schuldig had shot him a look of pure hurt and heartache. That's when that closed door in Yoji's mind reopened. He couldn't help himself. He followed the mysterious redhead, and, in the process, rediscovered a love long lost, and a large part of his life entirely forgotten. Sure, Yoji felt guilty leaving his marriage, but it would have been unfair if he'd stayed and lived a lie, denying his own heart.  
  
That was the easy part. Going back to Weiss...now THAT was difficult. The blood, the darkness, the guilt...the only thing that made it all bearable was his friends. After so many years, the original four were back together. 'And this is how it ends?' Yoji swallowed hard, determined not to cry.   
  
"Mmm." Ran looked up sympathetically at his friend, eyes full of sadness and concern."  
  
"You said it, Ran." Yoji forced a smile, pulling the blankets up over Ran. Their eyes met, and for the first time since the attack, Yoji felt that he and Ran were talking. They didn't need words. Ran's eyes barely masked the pain that he was feeling. "You like having Schuldig around, don't you? You feel less lonely, knowing you are understood."  
  
Ran grunted in affirmation, a slight smile crossing his lips. But Yoji could still see a hint of underlying sadness.  
  
"Nobody thinks you're worthless, Ran", Yoji said honestly, addressing the thought he knew had been plaguing Ran's mind. "So you can't talk anymore. There is still so much that you can do in life, even without a voice. And remember, nobody has ruled out walking yet. You're gonna go into physical therapy and surprise yourself. You'll be walking before you know it!"  
  
Ran was surprised. 'Yoji is being so...perky', he thought, staring at his friend as if he were a stranger. Yet, somehow, Ran knew that he was being sincere. This wasn't just a pep talk to pull him out of self-pity. Yoji truly believed in him.  
  
"Agh", Ran gurgled out the closest sound to "thank you" his mouth would make, reaching up an arm.   
  
Yoji leaned over, completing the hug. "Do itashimashite, Ran", he whispered in a soothing voice. "I..."  
  
Ran looked up inquisitively at Yoji, wondering what could be on his friend's mind. He had sensed that something was bothering him, but what could he do? "Mmm?"  
  
"It's nothing urgent", Yoji answered dismissively. "And...Oh! Look who's back!"  
  
Ken hobbled into the room, accompanied by a nurse, walking straight to Ran's bed. "I got clean, Ran. Wanna smell?" He pushed a hand up to Ran's face. "I smell good, huh?"  
  
Ran just laughed as the nurse led Ken back to his bed. Perhaps he COULD still love Ken. The nature of his love may have to change, but it wouldn't necessarily have to vanish altogether. "Ah ta!" he called happily to Ken.  
  
"I love you too, Ran", Ken beamed, Ran's inabilty to speak a non issue for him.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Do you think my brother will ever forgive me?" Aya asked, blowing her nose into a tissue.   
  
"I don't doubt it at all. After all, he almost died for you before", Schuldig reasoned, handing Aya a fresh tissue. And let's not forget what he did for..." He looked away, realizing he shouldn't have said any more.  
  
"I know! Look what happened to him as a result! And how do I thank him? I compare him to a helpless baby!" Aya broke down into loud sobs. Schuldig put an arm around her, looking around red-faced at passersby and attempting to shush the woman.  
  
Finally, when Aya had gotten the tears out of her system, she looked up at Schu and asked "Where has Omi been? I haven't seen him in several days, and Yoji started to tell me something, but then-"  
  
"You don't need to know about that now. After all you've been through, you're better off kept in the dark about this."Schuldig told her carefully.  
  
"Well, now I KNOW something is wrong, and I know it's bad. How do you expect me not to get upset?! Tell me what happened!" Aya demanded.  
  
"Aya-"  
  
"TELL ME!!!"  
  
"Fine." Schuldig sighed. "Just remember, you asked for it."  
  
"Get on with it!" Aya groaned.   
  
"Omi..." Schuldig held his hands together. It looked like he was trying to comfort himself. "Omi..."  
  
"Omi what?" Aya was dreading every word, but she knew she had to hear this.  
  
"Omi committed suicide." 


	8. Questioning Forever

*counts reviews for the last chapter* Wow! 14 reviews! Thank you all. Special thanks to those of you that have been reviewing this story from the beginning. I am grateful that you've stuck around and remained interested. And remember, if you write a KenxRan, I'll review right back. ^_^ (But I don't read RanxKen. Sorry.)  
  
There will only be a few more chapters after this one. I've had this fic all planned out for monthes now! Not sure how quick I'll be on the updates, though. I still haven't had my baby yet. It could be any day now. But I promise that I will try and finish this in a timely manner. In the meantime, enjoy what is likely to be my last pre-baby chapter.  
  
Codes: 'thoughts'  
((Schu talking telepathically))  
  
Oh! one more thing. I updated my profile (finally!) and have included a link to my new site. Check it out!  
  
~Koyasu  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Omi WHAT?!" Aya burst out, once again breaking down into tears. "But why?! Why now, of all times?!"  
  
"Let's step outside, shall we?" Schuldig said calmly. He led Aya out with a gentle hand, looking back, embarassed and apologetic, at the crowd that was staring at them.  
  
"Read this." He handed Aya a letter once they were outside. "It's Omi's suicide letter. I got it from Yoji before we came in to stop you from abusing your brother", he laughed.  
  
"Was I abusing-?"  
  
"It's understandable", Schu chuckled. "You're pregnant and hormonal. Just remember that Ran is very fragile now." He smiled, eyes full of empathy. "Now read", he urged, motioning to the letter.  
  
Aya nodded, cleared her throat and began:  
  
To my friends:  
I know that nothing I can say will make up for all of the pain that my family has caused you. I inherited the burden of running Kritiker not long after the death of my father. I took on that responsiblity, in honor of his memory. But it was never easy, seeing my friends put their lives on the line night after night. That's what I get for caring, I guess. I can't help it, though. I don't have the stoney reserve that the rest of my family possessed. That's why I got out. I couldn't bear to know what was happening.  
  
But absence does not equal lack of awareness. I knew that Ken and Ran were still working as assassins, with a new team, under new leadership. The mere thought of it nearly drove me to madness. Finally, with reluctance (and Nagi at my side to protect me), I returned, begging to regain my position of leadership.  
  
When Yoji came back, I considered it a miracle. A blessing. A good omen, if you will. In my naivete, I thought nothing of the monthes of intense training it would take to reteach him the ways of an assassin. I didn't even question if he was, or would ever be, truly ready for this life again. Weiss was back together. I was with my "brothers" once again. It felt like things had come full circle, and that could only be good.  
  
Or so I thought. I should have listened to Nagi. He warned me not to take up this lifestyle again. He told me that only bad things would come of it. Foolishly, I ignored these warnings and continued on, out of guilt and a sense of obligation. Nagi, frustrated, said it was time we took a "break", leaving me with nothing to live for but my team. But where is that team now? If I had used better judgement as your leader, would Ran still be able to speak? Would Ken still function as an adult? This was an intensly personal mission, and I should not have allowed Weiss to accept it. Now, all of our lives are forever altered. It is my fault, and I feel it is best that I depart now, before I cause any more pain.  
  
Goodbye.  
Omi  
  
Aya threw the letter to the ground. "If he didn't want to cause any more pain, why the hell did he kill himself?! And here I gave him all this credit for being the smart one", she fumed, trembling and shaking her fists at her side.  
  
"Aya, I know you're upset-, Schuldig began, reaching a hand to Aya's shoulder, which she promptly swatted away.  
  
"Of course I am!" she hissed. "He was selfish! We need him now! Ran needs him! And Yoji..." Aya took a deep breath in and out of her nose before continuing. "Why couldn't he just-"  
  
"Now you aren't being fair" Schuldig said sternly, grabbing Aya firmly by the arms. "Yoji feels like the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders How would you feel if, after spending the day with two seriously injured freiends and one friend's grieving sister, you went to see a third friend, only find find that he had hung himself?"  
  
"Y-Yoji found him?" Aya put her hand to her mouth, which was agape. "How...how awful! I-I'm sorry."  
  
Schuldig pulled Aya in for a hug. "Don't worry about it. I understand. You've been through a lot. You lost your husband, found out you'll have to raise a child alone, and Ran...well..." Schuldig sighed. "Just don't forget, you aren't the only one suffering."   
  
"Do Ran and Ken know yet?", Aya asked, her voice a choked, hoarse whisper.  
  
"No", Schuldig answered, taking Aya by the hand and leading her through the sunny courtyard outside the hospital. "I think that we can hold off on telling Ken. He doesn't understand these things anyway, and he might not even think to ask about Omi. Ran, on the other hand, has probably already started to wonder. I'm reluctant to tell him, though. He starts physical therapy soon, and-"  
  
"And you're worried the emotional distress may interfere with his progress?"  
  
Schuldig nodded, stopping and sitting at the edge of a fountain. "I dread coming to see your brother, Aya. I fear that, the next time I do, I'll be faced with questions about Omi."  
  
Aya took a seat next to Schu. "Yoji and I can avoid the topic, since we have no way of communicating with him on our own. You, on the other hand, will probably be depended upon more and more by Ran for conversation and friendship. It's a tough position to be in, isn't it?"  
  
"Yeah. Sometimes, this gift is a curse", Schuldig lamented, turning his head back slightly and gazing into the calm, still water.  
  
*  
  
"Yoji, what does 'discharged' mean?" Ken asked, looking up from his tray of food.  
  
"It means to be released. If you are in the hospital, for example, it means you will be going home", Yoji replied as he fed Ran some rice. "Why?"  
  
"I heard some doctors talking today, and they said I was getting discharged." Ken fidgeted with a straw. "Yoji...I don't remember where home is. Where will I be going?"  
  
"We've got someplace nice in mind for you." Yoji smiled at him. He didn't have the heart to tell Ken that they had decided to put him in assisted living. There was no way he would be able to live on his own.  
  
"Ah - aaaaahhhh...", Ran whined anxiously.   
  
Yoji looked at his hand. "Oh, sorry!" He hadn't realized he was holding the spoon where Ran couldn't reach it with his mouth. "Here you go." He brought the spoon to Ran's mouth and began feeding him again.  
  
"Ran is so cute", Ken cooed. "Will he be getting discharged, too?"  
  
"Not yet. He'll be staying here a little longer. He needs to get better and try walking again, like you are."  
  
Ken's face fell. "Then when will I see him?"  
  
"Soon, we hope", was Yoji's tentative response. He wiped some food off of Ran's face, saddened to see it reflecting the heartbreak of his lover.  
  
"Then he can live with me, right?" Ken asked hopefully, nervously ripping a napkin into small pieces.  
  
"That, um...that depends on his progress." Yoji cringed in anticipation of Ken's reaction. "You may not be living together, but you can still visit eachother."  
  
"NO!!!" Ken hollered, throwing his tray of food across the room. "I want to be with Ran forever! You can't take him from me!"  
  
"Ken, nobody is-"  
  
"You are! I HATE you, Yoji! I hate all of you!" Ken went on, only pausing to take brief breaths.  
  
"Is something the matter?" a young nurse's aid asked, cautiously approaching Ken's bed.  
  
Ken swung an arm out, punching the woman in the face. "Yes! You're taking me away from him! I need to be with Ran and take care of him! He's my little baby lover, and he needs me to be his daddy now! He NEEDS me!!!"  
  
Ken went on for about five more minutes. By the time he finished, he realized he had been put in restraints, and was being taken to another part of the hospital on a gurney.  
  
"Where are you taking me?! Stop this!" Ken demanded angrily.  
  
"Sorry." An intern that was pushing the gurney shook his head. "We're taking you to solitary confinement. After we talk with your doctors, we'll have a better idea what to do with you."  
  
Ken felt tears well up in his eyes. He just wanted to be with his baby Ran. Why were they trying to keep them apart? Why was everybody being so mean? Ken closed his eyes, trying to shut out the hurt. "Make it stop. Make it stop", he chanted to himself before succumbing to sleep.  
  
*  
  
Schuldig entered the room, a visibly shaken Aya on his shoulder. When he saw Yoji leaning over to embrace Ran, he knew that something wasn't right. But the combined noise coming from his three friend's minds made it impossible to figure anything out, and emotions were running so high, he felt dizzy. "Would you all just be quite?" he winced, doubling over in pain and falling to the floor.  
  
"Schu!" Yoji ran over to his lover, helping him to his feet. "You okay?"  
  
"I'm fine", Schu nodded, looking over at a distressed Ran. He turned back to Yoji. "Ken found out he was getting discharged, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, and when he learned that Ran wouldn't be coming with him he..." Yoji put a hand to his forehead in frustration.   
  
"Got a little upset", Schu finished for him.  
  
"'A little upset' is putting it mildly", Yoji sighed. "Ran is pretty shook up about it, so I think you'd better go to him now."  
  
"Right." Schuldig approached Ran's bed and gently entered his mind. ((Ken scared you, didn't he?))   
  
'Yes', Ran admitted. 'It was uncomfortable, seeing him act like that. And I worry that..." He closed his eyes, allowing himself to shed a single tear.  
  
((Go on!)) Schu encouraged, stroking Ran's arm in a gentle, reassuring manner.  
  
'He's not coming back, is he? The old Ken, I mean. No matter what the doctors do, or how hard anybody works, Ken will always be like this.'  
  
((Well...)) Schuldig hesitated.  
  
'You can tell me. I can see the truth', Ran thought cynically. 'Ken threw a tantrum like a spoiled 3-year-old today, and I don't think his brain can function on a much higher level than that.'  
  
((It probably never will again.)) was Schu's honest response.   
  
'That's what I thought.' Ran breathed out heavily and began to whimper.   
  
((Are you still doubting your love for Ken?)) Schuldig asked, frustrated at how good Ran had become at blocking his thoughts.  
  
'Earlier today, I was fairly certain that I could keep loving him, but he really scared me', Ran replied, blinking back tears. 'I...I guess I still love him, but it's odd...like I'm loving a child. But this child used to...' Ran blushed.  
  
((Used to make love to you?)) Schu grinned.  
  
'Mmm' Ran's face turned a deeper red. 'What is going to happen to him? What's going to happen to me? I know that Ken needs help in life now, and, the way things are looking, I'm likely to need a different kind of help. I hate to admit this, but...'  
  
((You're scared. I know. It's okay.)) Schu took a tissue and wiped Ran's eyes dry.  
  
'I am! I'm scared because I have no idea where things stand anymore. Even things that concern me! Everyone is keeping secrets. You may be able to get away with that with Ken, but I'm too smart for it.'  
  
((I know you are. What do you need to know?)) Schuldig asked with dread.  
  
Ran took a labored breath, swallowing hard before he began. 'I'm not getting my hopes up in terms of speaking. I doubt I will be able to do that again. But...what about everything else? How will life be for me after I get out of here? Have the doctors given you any idea about that?'   
  
((They have)) Schu nodded with an encouraging smile. ((Your doctors think that, with a lot of hard work, you will eventually walk again.))  
  
'But even if I walk, I wouldn't know where to put my feet', Ran argued. 'I can't make sense of those things anymore.' He looked off sadly, frustrated with himself.  
  
((If that continues to be the case, you may need someone with you to help guide your steps. But it's doubtful you will be wheelchair bound.)) Schuldig was not going to let Ran get discouraged. ((Do you believe me?))  
  
Ran looked up into Schuldig's fierce green eyes. They looked sincere enough. 'Yes.' He smiled tearfully. 'I do.'  
  
((I'm glad.)) Schuldig gave Ran a quick kiss on his forehead and stood up, turning to walk out of the room. He almost made it to the door when...  
  
'Wait!' Ran mentally pleaded.  
  
Schuldig cringed, walking back over to Ran. ((Wh-what is it?)) he asked, attempting to remain calm.  
  
'Why hasn't Omi been by to see us lately?' 


	9. Anquish and Apathy

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!  
On Wednesday, March 19th, 2003, at 3:06am, I gave birth to my son William. He is a beautiful child and a true blessing. ^_^  
  
Now that I've got my maternal gloating out of the way...Thanks bunches for all the feedback and reviews. We're nearing the end of the story. I'm thinking I'll write maybe two more chapters. It may take awhile, though. I don't have much time for myself anymore. So, until I get a chance to write the last chapter, you're just going to have to deal with the fact that I ended this one with another cliffhanger. Yes, I am evil. Muwahahahaha!  
  
Codes:  
'thoughts'  
((Schu talking telepathically))  
  
Happy reading. :-p  
  
~Koyasu  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Schuldig looked away from Ran's pleading eyes. Of course, he deserved to know about Omi, but he was so affected by his own emotions. Try as he might to be cool and reserved, the truth was that every action Ran took was, on some level, influenced by what he felt. Would learning of Omi's suicide cause him to shut down? Would he blame himself for all that had happened? Refuse to go to physical therapy? Refuse to heal his body?   
  
Ran sighed impatiently. 'I'm not going to like this, am I?'  
  
((Um...n-no...you aren't)) Schuldig answered, feeling for the right words. ((Well...)) he sighed. ((You know that Omi was very sensitive and-))   
  
'He's dead, isn't he?' Ran interrupted. I never thought of Omi as the suicidal type, but...' Ran bit his lip, his entire body trembling.  
  
((The words 'was' and 'sensitive' gave it away, didn't they?))   
  
'Mmm.' Ran quivered, fighting back a flood of emotions. He felt such a sense of loss. Taro, Ken, himself...and now Omi. All either dead or better off dead. And it could have been different, if he had only taken the advice of his sister and friends. Weiss should have retired. They shouldn't have taken that last mission. 'Was it...?'  
  
((No. This was in no way your fault. We all have our own guilt to work through. We all have sorrow. Omi was close to breaking. I sensed that Omi had been working through a lot of shit for a very long time. I knew this, and even I couldn't stop him. Ran?))  
  
'What?'  
  
((Nothing that you did caused this to happen. So please don't beat yourself up over it)) Schu pleaded.  
  
'Beat myself up? I can barely move.' Ran sighed. He was still shaking.  
  
((You know what I mean, Ran.)) Sensing discomfort from the redhead, Schuldig moved his arm from his chest to his side. ((Better?))  
  
'Yes.'  
  
((Good)) Schu continued, fixing his gaze on Ran. ((Now, won't you honor Omi's memory by working your hardest to get well?))  
  
Ran sniffed. 'What's the point?'  
  
((Please, Ran. Please don't let Omi's death be for nothing.)) Schuldig begged. ((Don't let the legacy of Weiss be only tragedy. If you can rise above what has happened to you-))  
  
'I don't see how that's possible...'  
  
((Through your hard work. I believe in you, Ran. We all do. Now, it's up to you.)) Schu smiled, placing a finger in Ran's hand. ((Squeeze my finger)) he ordered. ((Just give it everything you've got.))  
  
Ran closed his eyes, focusing all of his mental energy on the finger in his hand. He was barely even aware of his body, and it took a lot of concentration. But when he opened his eyes to look, he saw the tip of Schuldig's finger poking out from within his fist, slightly purple. Breaking his concentation, Ran slowly let go. 'Gomen. I...I hope I didn't hurt you.'  
  
Schuldig's face could hardly contain his happiness. ((Just a little pressure. But I'm proud of you, Ran! Consider this the first step in your body's recovery.))  
  
Ran gave a bittersweet smile, saddened by the news of Omi's death, but emboldened by his accomplishment. Before he knew what was happening, he felt his cheeks become wet and heard himself start crying. It started with soft sobs, building to loud, pained wails. He wasn't sure what to feel anymore. He just wished that he could make sense of things.  
  
Aya and Yoji looked on sadly, not sure how to react to what they were seeing. So Aya acted on instinct, hurrying to her brother's bedside.   
  
"I think that is just what Ran needs now", Schu smiled sadly, giving up his seat for the woman. "Just sit with him. Hold his hand. Help him to feel safe again."  
  
Aya nodded as she took a seat, trying to be strong as the sounds of her brother's inner and outer pain penetrated her heart. She looked at what he had become and thought back to what put him in this state. 'Taro...' Aya felt herself tear up at the thought of her murdered husband, realizing that she and Ran really needed eachother. Now more than ever.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Three monthes later...  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Just let me say goodbye!" Ken cried as Aya and Yoji put his things in the back of Yoji's Jeep.   
  
"I'm sorry, Ken, but we can't do that", Aya stated sadly, taking the recultant brunette by the arms. "After your outburst a few monthes ago, your doctors decided it's best that you don't see Ran for awhile.  
  
"And it's been awhile!" Ken whined, struggling. "I don't understand why-"  
  
"Because Ran has enough to worry about without you throwing tantrums all the time", Yoji said shortly, grabbing Ken away from Aya. She was advancing in her pregnancy, and the last thing they needed was for Ken to bring any harm to her or the baby, however unintentional it may be.  
  
"But Ran is like my...my...wife!" Ken stammered frantically as Yoji forced him into the car. "You can't keep me away from my own wife!"  
  
Aya couldn't help but giggle at Ken's words. "You'll be together again soon. I promise."  
  
"You mean it?" Ken asked, staring dreamily into the distance as Yoji fastened his seat belt for him.  
  
Aya nodded, while Yoji closed the door on Ken, preventing further questions. She then turned to the older man. "Yoji, I've been thinking..." 


	10. Ken's Painful Return to Reality

*sings* I got 100 review-ews. I got 100 review-ews. Yay! Thank you! I've never gotten 100 reviews for a fic before. You guys are the best!   
  
On an unrelated note, if you visit my site (linked in my profile) and go to the "me" section, you'll see a picture of my cute, wonderful son William. Now, go look and see the cutest baby EVER! Proof that white women and Asian men need to mate more often. hehe ^_^  
  
~Koyasu  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ran? Ran, what the matter? You look terrible! Did you have a bad dream?" Ken asked, pulling the redhead into his arms while the morning sun streamed in through the bedroom, warming their naked bodies.   
  
"Mmm", Ran nodded pressing his body closer to Ken's. He felt that he needed the protection and reassurance that Ken offered, and, on this particular morning, he wasn't ashamed to show it.  
  
Ken brushed a strand of red hair away from Ran's violet, teary eyes. "Would you like to tell me about it?"  
  
Ran shook his head. "I just want to forget it completely. It was that awful! And it was far too real for my liking. Just...just hold me, please. I want to know that you are real. That you aren't going to disappear." Slowly, cautiously, Ran wound his arms around Ken's muscular shoulders, holding on for dear life.  
  
"Don't worry, Ran. I'm not going anywhere, Ken promised, rolling over on top of his uke. Except maybe for breakfast."  
  
Ran looked puzzled. "Nani?"  
  
((Breakfast...Ran, it's time for your breakfast.)) With that, Ran was taken out of Ken's arms, back into then harsh reality he lived each endless day in.  
  
'Not hungry', Ran turned up his nose at the tray Schuldig presented him with.  
  
Schu brought some soup up to his face, sniffing it.((Then you won't mind if I eat it? I'm famished! And even my amateur attempts at Japanese cuisine are far superior to anything you're likely to get from a hospital kitchen.))  
'Give me that!' Ran reached for the tray, glaring at the telepath. Schuldig placed it in front of him, but not without a little teasing.  
  
((You were dreaming about Ken.)) he grinned wickedly.  
  
'Did I say you could view my dreams for your own amusement?' Ran glared, taking a bite of fish. He was glad to be able to feed himself again. Even if his shaking hands did cause him to frequently spill all over himself when he ate, it still beat the indignity of having to be spoonfed, like a baby.  
  
((But it helps me to learn more about the mind your loved ones so long to reach and-))  
  
'That's bullshit and you know it.' Ran frowned as some food got lost in his gown.  
  
((You're just pissed because I woke you up before you got to the sex.))  
  
Ran stopped eating. 'I hate you.' His face was deep red.  
  
((Oh, you know you don't mean that.)) Schuldig tried to keep a straight face as he watched Ran search awkwardly for the missing morsel of fish, while still trying to look angry.  
  
'No. I guess I don't', Ran gave in with a slight smile. The truth was, he really apprechiated having Schuldig around. He enjoyed the conversation. Schu didn't talk down to him or try simplifying what he said. He respected Ran, and Ran apprechiated that. 'Actually, I...oh shit!' He had obviously found the fish.  
  
Schuldig licked his lips. ((Mmm...fish with cum sauce...))   
  
Ran blushed. 'Shut up!' He looked expectantly in the direction of the door. 'Where are my sister and Yoji?'  
  
((Aya isn't feeling well)) Schuldig answered. ((Late pregnancy is tough on a woman. So I've been told. Yoji offered to keep her company.))  
  
'I see.' Ran suspected there was something Schuldig wasn't telling him, and he knew that the telepath was aware of his suspicions. But Ran was tired. He was depressed. He'd just take whatever answer he was given.  
  
*  
  
"Aya, it's been a week since you last visited Ran, and-"  
  
"I don't care!" Aya snapped back. Because of my brother and Ken, I wasn't able to..." she stopped there, interrupted by her own tears.  
  
"Wasn't able to what? Properly mourn Taro?" Yoji guessed, hugging his friend. "I know, Aya. It's all a lot to deal with at once. You lost your husband, and, for all intents and purposes, your brother and his lover, too. And the joy you should be feeling at having a baby is all kind of lost in the tragedy, isn't it?"  
  
Aya nodded, blowing her nose. "How can I raise this child alone? I know that Ran would have been glad to help, but-"  
  
"But he can't. I know." Yoji put his hand on Aya's lap. "I know that you've been going through a lot. You miss Taro. Cry for him if you need to. But please, don't be angry with Ran or Ken for getting hurt. They loved Taro, too. More importantly, they love you, and that's why..."  
  
"What? Go on." Aya knew that Yoji was censoring himself.  
  
"Don't you dare feel guilty!" Yoji laughed nervously. "It's not your fault Ran loves you so much."  
  
Aya couldn't help but smile at Yoji's statement. It warmed her heart, and dulled the pain she felt ever so slightly. "Yes...you're right. Um...how is Schuldig doing with Ken? Any progress?"  
  
"The memories are slowly coming back", Yoji answered, glad to be moving on to some relatively happy news. "He's still childish, in many ways, but he is growing up a bit. Schu has been approaching it all cautiously. Eventually, he knows that Ken will remember the night he and Ran were attacked. Let's just hope that he doesn't regress back to the state he was in when that happens.  
  
"Yes. I know that Ran misses the old Ken. I miss him, too. He was a lot of fun to be around." Aya looked off into the distance wistfully. "Well, Schuldig certainly has his work cut out for him, doesn't he?"  
  
"That he does", Yoji sighed. "By the way, are you still planning to-"  
  
"I am", Aya answered without waiting for him to finish. She folded her arms. "My mind is made up."  
  
"But wouldn't it be too-"  
  
"My decision is final."  
  
Yoji rolled his eyes. "Stubborness must run in your family."  
  
*  
  
Schuldig rapped lightly on Ken's door. "You up yet?"  
  
"Hai!" Ken called absently. "Come on in." He liked that Schuldig had been over to visit him every day since he moved into the group home. It was comforting to see a familiar face, and he kept Ken informed of Ran's condition. It wasn't the same as seeing Ran, but it was all that Ken was allowed now. Still, he didn't like that Schuldig was making him remember things that he wasn't even sure had happened. Things that he would sooner not think about.  
  
Schuldig sat down on the bed next to Ken, noting the brunette's messy hair an untied shoes. 'Looks like Ken still needs help dressing himself', he thought with a laugh. Oh well, first things first.' "Ken, were you able to remember any more about that super hero game you played with Ran, Yoji and Omi?" Schu asked, holding Ken's fidgeting hands still. He really needed Ken to focus.  
  
"I remember different stories we would play", Ken replied, looking scared. "It was pretty sick and bad. And it seemed so real. I'd swear that..." His voice trailed off, and his eyes widened in recognition. "We never saw a lot of the bad guys again. It...it WAS real, wasn't it?"  
  
"If I'm going to help you, Ken, then I can't answer that" the German said cryptically, shaking his head.   
  
Ken held his head in his hands. "I...I don't know. The past is all..it's all fuzzy!" Ken cried out in frustration. "I remember Ran, and how much we loved eachother. I also remember that Aya was in a coma and...Oh no! Oh, God no! It-it IS true! And that night...we..." Ken stood up, walked to a wall and punched his fist into it. "I remember now. Ran got angry with those bad men and they hurt him. I tried to stop them, but...Oh, God no!" Ken fell to his knees. This painful revelation was more than his heart could bear.  
  
Schuldig remained seated on Ken's bed, paralyzed by the sadness, hurt and shock in Ken's heart and mind. He had turned a new corner. Now, one question remained. Would Ken continue to progress? Or would he regress to an even more child-like state?  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
And the bishie torture continues. Muwahahahaha! btw, Don't go griping to me that Ran was OOC during his dream. I don't think that he was. Of course he would be more open about his feelings with Ken. Ken is his seme, for crying out loud! Besides, I never believed that Ran was the cold bastard so many people make him out to be. 


	11. Happiness Reawakened

There are some things I have come to accept.   
  
1) My fics will never ben wildly popular. But I have readers who faithfully read and enjoy my stories, and I am thankful for them. (Shout out to Madiha, the most faithful and supportive reader of all.)   
  
2) I don't even know if anyone visits my website. But I had fun making it, and it will be there for anyone that wants to take a look.  
  
3) For some odd reason, a lot of people still aren't into KenRan. I don't get that at all. Oh well. I'll just keep hoping that, one day, people see the light. (hehe) Maybe I'll even get some members and actual activity in my KenRan group. (That would be a miracle!) I won't get my hopes up, but I will plug my NEW STORY THAT I WROTE WITH MY FRIEND AVAILABLE ONLY IN THE GROUP! Here's the linkie:  
  
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kenxranfanfics/  
  
But you probably wish I'd keep my stupid realizations to myself and just get on with the damn chapter. Okay. Here you go. The final chapter. First off, let me warn you that it does contain spoilers for the last episode of Gluhen. That said, I hope it leaves you with warm, fuzzy feelings, and a sense of closure for the characters as well. Happy reading. ^_^  
  
Crap! I'm annoying! :-p  
  
~ Koyasu  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Chotto matte!" Asuka called, wiping off her hands on a towel. 'This better not be a solicitor', she thought, irritated. She hated having to run out of the bathroom to answer the door. And it was even worse when it was a total stranger trying to sell her something. She peered out the peephole. Letting out a slight gasp, she put her hand to her mouth. "Yoji..."  
  
"I understand if you don't want to see me." Yoji looked down at his shoes. "I mean, I am the one that left you."  
  
Asuka straightened herself up. "Don't be silly!" she laughed, opening the door. "You are welcome any time." She opened the door, greeting her ex-husband with a hug.  
  
Yoji took a step back, surprised. Asuka simply laughed at his reaction. "Well, are you going to come in or not?"  
  
"H-hai." Confused by Asuka's friendliness, he stepped inside. Looking around, he saw that not much had changed. The furniture was where it had always been, random trinkets lay about the apartment that Asuka didn't want or need, but held onto just the same. Only one thing had changed. Yoji's eyes caught sight of a picture in a frame on an end table. "You've met someone, I see", he whispered, relieved.   
  
"I have", Asuka nodded with a big smile and a girlish giggle. "His name is Fariz. He's a new doctor at the hospital. Born and raised in Iran, but he studied medicine in Japan. We're getting married in December, and will probably think about kids in a few years."  
  
"That's great news!" Yoji clapped his hands together once and smiled. "Your children will be beautiful, I'm sure. Mixed babies usually are."  
  
"You're mixed yourself, aren't you?" Asuka nudged him playfully in the ribs.  
  
"I am. My mother was white and...Hey! I didn't mean I-"   
  
"I know", Asuka stuck her tongue out, then motioned to the couch. "Please. Have a seat. And stop acting so nervous. I told you we could still be friends. I didn't just say that to be polite, you know." She took a seat on the couch next to Yoji, taking his hand firmly, yet gently. "What can I do for you?"  
  
Yoji reached into his pocket with his free hand, pulling out an old photograph. He handed it to Asuka. "That's me with my three best friends", he explained with a bittersweet smile. "We've known eachother for years, but got separated on a couple occassions."  
  
"The last one being when you lost your memory", Asuka guessed.  
  
Yoji nodded, continuing. That redhead is Ran. He acted like a woman with PMS most of the time, but he has a kind heart. The brunette standing next to him is Ken. Ken is Ran's husband. Kind of hot-headed. He used to start a lot of fights, but he was generally good-natured and fun. Most importantly, he loves Ran, and has helped him deal with a lot of his inner demons. And that cute little guy that I have my arm around is Omi. Extremely intelligent, very kind and..." Yoji stopped, swallowing a sob.   
  
"What is it?" Asuka asked with concern. "Did something happen to your friends? I notice you keep jumping between past and present tense when you talk about them."  
  
"Omi..." Yoji cleared his throat, straightening himself up. "Omi commited suicide."  
  
Asuka gasped. "Oh, Yoji, I am so sorry!" She threw her arms around Yoji, lightly massaging his back.  
  
"He's always been sensitive, Yoji choked out, giving his ex a squeeze before pulling away. "And after the accident, I guess he'd had enough."  
  
Asuka looked confused. "Accident?"  
  
"Ken and Ran...um...were in a car accident", Yoji lied, knowing that Asuka shouldn't hear the truth about what happened." Ken suffered partial memory loss. Not as severe as mine, but the effects on his personality were far worse. He regressed to a child-like state. He's since improved, but his short term memory is very bad, and he needs constant supervision. As for Ran, he sustained severe back and head injuries. As a result, he is unable to speak, and has difficulty walking. His meds have also caused him to put on a lot of weight in his stomach, butt and face. He kind of looks like an overfed chipmunk." Yoji laughed awkwardly.  
  
"It sounds like your friends have been through a lot", Asuka commented, still looking at the picture. 'They all look so full of life and vitality.' She looked up and saw Yoji staring into his lap. "This can't be easy for him. It's almost as if he's lost them all.' "Is there anything that I can do?"  
  
"As a matter of fact-" Yoji began, before his cell phone interrupted him. He looked down at the number displayed. "I'll only be a minutes", he said apologetically before answering. "Hey, love!"  
  
Asuka guessed that Yoji was talking to Schuldig, his long lost love that he had been reunited with not long after they had gotten married.  
  
"That was Schu", Yoji confirmed, after a conversation that consisted of no more than "What's up? Really? Now? Okay, I'll be right there."  
  
"Is everything okay?" Asuka asked with concern. "That sounded urgent."  
  
"It is urgent. But don't worry about it. Everything is fine", Yoji reassured, patting Asuka on the knee as he stood up. "I have to go now, but I would like to speak with you some more. Can I call you later?"  
  
"Of course." Asuka gave Yoji a big hug and saw him out the door. "What could he need from me?" she wondered, closing the door behind her.  
  
*  
  
A tall, bulky man with gray hair and kind eyes walked beside Ran down the hall to his room. He was pushing an empty wheelchair, just in case Ran needed it. "Your progress astounds me!" the physical therapist said with a kind smile. "Before you know it, you'll be walking without that thing." He pointed at Ran's walker.   
  
Ran smiled slightly, but kept focused on the steps he was taking.   
  
Yoji and Schuldig met them at Ran's doorway. "Better keep a leash on him. He'll try breaking out if you're not careful", Yoji smirked.  
  
Ran stopped in front of Yoji, sticking out his tongue. Something the old Ran never would have done.  
  
"Yes." The physical therapist smiled, patting Ran gently on the shoulder. "Ran has really come a long way."  
  
"Thanks to you", Schuldig praised. "Jonasu, you truly are a miracle worker."  
  
Jonasu bowed humbly. "Arigato. Demo, it was really Ran's hard work that got him this far."  
  
Ran looked up proudly. At that moment, his left hand slipped, and his body slid to the ground.  
  
"Talk about unfortunate timing", Schuldig winced.   
  
"Yes. I think he overdid it a bit today. But, over time, his endurance will continue to build", Jonasu assured them, helping the flushed redhead up off the floor.He pushed the wheelchair up behind Ran. "Maybe you should use this the rest of the way."  
  
Ran shook his head defiantly. He didn't have much further to go before he was safely in his bed.  
  
"Listen to Jonasu. He knows what he's talking about", Yoji scolded playfully, as he and Schuldig eased Ran into his wheelchair. "Besides, you'll want to hurry into your room. There's a surprise waiting for you in there", he added with a mysterious smile.  
  
Ran looked up curiously. "Mm?"  
  
"You'll find out in a minute. Hold your horses", Yoji laughed, as Jonasu wheeled Ran into his room.  
  
Ran tried his hardest to suppress the sobs of joy he felt welling up in his throat. He didn't want to wake the perfect, sleeping bundle in his sister's arms.  
  
"Nii-chan, this is your niece", Aya beamed, holding the infant, swaddled in a pink blanket, up to Ran's face. "Her name is..." There was a dramatic pause. "Nii-chan, you have sacrificed so much for me. Your love for our family has shown through in so many ways. So I named my daughter Ran, as a tribute to you."  
  
Ran gazed lovingly at the child, eyes lit up like shining stars. At this moment, all of the pain he had endured since Weiss' last mission was forgotten. Life was perfect. Well, nearly perfect. If only he and Ken could reunite.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
eight monthes later...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Ken looked at the clock, sighing. 'Time seems to drag on endlessly these days', he thought with a frown. He had really come a long way since Schuldig had started working with him. He now knew the reality of his past, and what had happened to get him in his present state. While he did have a greater self-awareness than before, though, he often forgot many common sense things, like putting on pants before leaving his room, or remembering to flush the toilet. For these reasons, he was still living at the group home. 'Alone with these damn memories.' He folded up his arms on the table, placing his head in them. He didn't care if one of the staff lectured him for not participating in the stupid card game.  
  
A moment later, Ken felt a tap on his shoulder. "Ken?" It was Aya's voice. Ken slowly raised his head and turned to face her, glad to see his old friend. He hoped she'd brought little Ran with her today. Sure enough, theres he was. Sitting in the stroller with eyes fixed on Ken, the infant cooed and babbled, as if she had something very important to say. She looks a lot like Aya, but her eyes are so intense and violet! Just like her uncle!' Ken looked away sadly, biting his lip. Would he ever see his love again?  
  
Suddenly, Ken felt a gentle hand on his arm. "I'm sorry, Aya", he softly apologized. "I was just-"  
  
"Aaah."  
  
Ken felt as though his heart was going to leap out of his chest. There was no mistaking that soft voice, unable to speak words. It could only be...  
  
"Ran." Slowly turning his head, Ken looked up to see the beauty that he loved standing over him. Even with all the extra weight padding him, Ran looked amazing. Both men smiled at eachother, teary-eyed, and Ken stood up, taking the redhead into his arms and planting a passionate kiss upon his lips.  
  
"You'll never be apart again", Aya smile at them, gently rocking the stroller back and forth as baby Ran began to stir. "That's a promise."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
five years later...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Rannie! Rannie, come inside! It's time for bed", Aya called to her daughter, who was playing soccer in the yard with Ken."  
  
"Can I stay out just a little longer?" Yamada Ran begged, flashing her bright, violet eyes and a smile much like her late father's.  
  
"I don't think so", Aya laughed, picking the small, sturdy girl up and carrying her inside. "It's already 20 minutes past your bedtime."  
  
"I'm sorry!" Ken called, running in after them. "I was supposed to put her to bed but I-"  
  
"You forgot. I know. It's okay." Aya smiled patiently, turning to Ken.  
  
"Can uncle Ran tuck me in tonight?" Rannie asked in her sweetest voice.  
  
Aya kissed the girl's forehead, running her hands through dark brown hair that matched her own. "I am sure he would love to."  
  
*  
  
Ran pulled the blankets up over his namesake, smiling down lovingly.  
  
"Will you sing to me, oji?" young Ran asked sleepily, her own voice sweet, high and musical.  
  
Ran nodded with a warm smile and began humming his niece's favorite song. He would never speak again, but he could still sing, and the child loved his smooth, deep, gentle voice. Young Ran fell asleep midway through the song, and Ran leaned back into the chair where he sat, eyes full of contentment. After almost two years in the hospital, he and Ken had moved in with Aya and Rannie. It was a sweet renunion for the two lovers, who had not been together since Ken was put in the group home. And it was comforting to Ran, being with his lover, his sister and his young niece. For the first time in years, he felt that he was part of a happy family. Completing the family were Yoji and Schuldig. Yoji worked as a financial advisor, Schuldig a German teacher. They stayed to offer financial assistance and to help Aya care for Ken and Ran. Ran could walk now, but still got confused when it came to direction, so he always needed someone to guide his steps. Having Schu around to translate his thoughts also came in very handy. Ken was nothing like the man-child he had been after Weiss' unfortunate final mission. However, he was forgettful, and easily confused by even the simplest of tasks. There was no way that either one of them would be able to live independantly again. For this reason, Asuka acted as a live-in nurse, administering medication, and helping with the daily tasks that Ken and Ran could no longer perform on their own. Yes, their home was crowded. But Ran had never felt safer in his life. And it had been years since he'd been so happy.  
  
Ran looked up at his Asuka, who was standing in the doorway. He nodded to her, and she walked over quietly, taking Ran's hands and helping him stand up. As they walked slowly toward the bedroom that he shared with Ken, Ran thought of all the loss that everyone had endured. Aya lost a husband, Rannie lost a father, and Ran lost a brother-in-law. Then there was Omi's suicide, a friend lost to all. As for Ran and Ken, their physical and mental losses were immeasurable. There was a part of Ran that mourned these losses. It really was a shame that it had taken such tragedy to get them all into this place of calm and serenity. 'But if that's what it took to help us find this peace', he thought, as Asuka helped him into bed, ' I'd do it all again.' He closed his eyes, fighting off sleep as he waited for Ken to slip into bed next to him. 'Inner peace.' He sighed, rolling over onto his side. 'Yeah, it feels good.' 


End file.
